This week has been full of ups and downs….with the downs being more like little divots in the dirt, but divots all the same. I’ve been snippy…oh so snippy!….I’ve been snippy and picky…and…well…let’s just say I haven’t been very nice. As Mr. G and I were heading to bed the other night, I scoured my face while pulling the pillow out from under his head. Once his head hit the mattress I exclaimed, “That’s MY pillow…and now your head which has been resting on the germ-filled Metro windows today…has been all over MY pillow!” He looked at me and softly shook his head.
"You know, my princess…I worship you. I do. But recently it hasn’t been WHAT you’ve said that has made me upset…it’s the WAY you say it."
My 13-year-old self crossed her arms over her belly and rolled her glaring eyes while tapping her foot. But my married…pregnant…31-year-old self looked at him with regretful tears in my eyes with my hands crossed over my heart.
I’m so sorry. I’ll try to be better. I promise.
I curled up on my side of the bed with my eyes open trying to imagine how he would have responded if I had HIS pillow behind his head…and realized that he wouldn’t have responded at all. In fact, he wouldn’t have even noticed.
So as much as I would like to say, “It’s the hormones!”…and while I would like to blame those pesky hormones for the reason that my beloved coffee now tastes like ground-up sandstone early in the morning, I know it isn’t fair to blame the influx of hormones for the way that I act. I’m no princess…I’m a royal pain in the ass.
I’ve been trying to be better though. Each morning I wake up and rub my belly while whispering, It’s going to be a good day, my sweet baby…we’re going to be nice today! And I’m still finding my blood boiling over the most trivial things…Why is all the orange juice gone already? What is that smell? You didn’t bow down far enough….
So I’ll just say…I’m a work in progress.