One month ago today, our lives changed forever when we locked eyes on Littlebit. It feels as if it has been one extremely long day as I watch the little changes taking place hour by hour. Honestly, I don’t know where the time has gone. Her face is more expressive, her movements are more purposeful, her voice is beginning to develop through her precious baby grunts and high pitched coos, her feet are filling out her newborn rompers, and she looks at me…she really and truly looks at me with these gorgeous blue eyes. Granted, at times I know all she wants is more milk as she opens her mouth, so I “Moooo” at her and she kicks her legs happily as we sit down to nurse.
How is it possible that she has been here for one month? What a whirlwind it was. Our first week at home was full of visits from family while trying to adjust to breastfeeding and coming to the realization that a 7 pound person was now running the show. We had plans for getting her on a schedule, but we soon learned that a newborn will make the schedule, and you just have to adjust your life to fit it. I went without sleep for over 100 hours while running on pure adrenalin with excitement to get to know our little angel.
The second week passed by quickly as our days consisted of feedings, diaper changes, hours of staring at her, and attempting to get sleep when we could. And while the first week had more ups than downs, the second week proved itself in the form of raging hormones that I wasn’t prepared for. I felt out of control of my mind, my body was changing everyday, and I could cry on demand. But once I had one final 1am breakdown that had me triple guessing my ability to be a mother, things just turned around.
Week three consisted of us continuing our little routine. I was the moo-cow while Mr. Greeneyes played housewife and gave me encouragement whenever he felt that I needed it. During the third week, we got into a groove and actually felt good about how things were going. And right around the time things started to feel relaxed and natural, Mr. Greeneyes’ paternity leave came to an end. The day he went back to work was solemn, and as Littlebit and I waved goodbye to him from the upstairs window, the look on his face reminded me why I married him.
The day before he had to go back to work, my mom arrived. What a blessing it was to have her here. And while she was a tremendous amount of help around the house, it was also a priceless time spent together. You never realize how much your mother loves you until you become a mother.
Mom went home on Tuesday of this week. As she was driving away turning her head so I wouldn’t see the tears, I looked down at Littlebit as she stared at the shadows on the ceiling of the front porch and said, “Well…it’s just you and me! We can do this…right?” She kicked her legs up and smacked her lips. I said, “moooo!” and up the stairs we went for a delicious morning snack.
So here we are! The first month of motherhood is behind me, and I’m feeling nostalgic already for the day that she was born. Time is moving at a pace faster than it ever has before. Am I scared? Absolutely! She is terrifyingly perfect.