Ice Cream & A Pickle

You’ll be 4 months old next week. My stomach is flipping in knots at the thought of it all…this whole “growing up” thing is really over-rated. You know, every year after the Holidays are behind us and cleaning up Christmas is a daunting task, I feel a sense of sadness that I have nothing to look forward to until spring pokes her head through the ground and flowers bloom with magnificence. But now I have something to look forward to every single day.

You’ve started enjoying time on your tummy (we never thought we would see the day!), and when you rolled over for the first time last week, you startled yourself to tears…but then laughed at how much fun you had! You are such a delight!

And on days when it is too cold to go outside, sometimes I think you must be so bored staying inside with me all day. Heck, I’m bored with me! But then you look at me like I’m the cat’s meow with a gummy smile and a “coo”, and I think, “She loves me….she really really loves me!” 

So here’s to 1/3rd of a year…that has already started off as the best year of my life!

Love,

Mommy

Your morning smile is what gets me out of bed in the morning. I listen for a few minutes as you grunt and coo…and then you’ll let out a little yell with a tiny giggle at the end, and I know it is time. As my shadow makes way over your serious and thoughtful face, your big blue eyes focus while your head shakes side to side with excitement. Your lips part and your wide gummy smile sets my heart on fire. I have never looked forward to mornings like I do with you here.

I love you,

Mommy

Things we could not live without..

As we approach Littlebit’s 3 month mark (WHATWHY??), I thought I would post a few things that we could not have lived without while raising a newborn/infant.

1) Halo fleece sleep sack swaddle - When we put one of these on our baby registry, I thought, “I’m a nurse…I can swaddle a baby!” But at 2am when the baby is screaming and kicking, swaddling is an impossible feat. We now have one in each color. This is my number 1 baby accessory that we could not live without. The minute this sleep sack zips up, baby girl knows it is time to dream. Perfection!

2) Gerber white front-snap tshirts (long sleeve with hand covers)- It can take up to 2 weeks for the umbilical cord stump to fall off.  These are perfect to keep the stump safe and dry, and face free from scratches in the middle of the night. I now use these under her onesies that don’t have built in hand mitts.

3) Moses basket on rocker- We are in the process of planning for a transition to her crib…but she LOVES her moses basket. It is right next to my side of the bed, and it is so easy to do a one-handed-paci-in-the-mouth maneuver in the early morning. It’s snug and comfy, and the basket will rock her back to sleep when she kicks her legs.  Another plus of this? It’s easy to transport and there is nothing to assemble. 

4) Unpetroleum jelly- If there is one thing I learned in our baby care class, it was to use this on a baby’s bumbum. It lasts forever, and I haven’t even bought Desitin. We apply a liberal amount of this with diaper changes, and I am happy to say that we had been free of diaper rash! It also feels great on dry hands from all of the hand washing and antibacterial gel usage. I found it at Whole Foods.

5) Medela nipple cream -Oh my God. This stuff saved me. I bought it before she arrived, and I was so thankful to have it at home.  I kept it by my side at all times, and used it after every feeding for the first 3-4 weeks. 

6) JJ Cole BundleMe -This is such a great invention.  A plush sleeping bag for the carseat or stroller! The minute I zip her up, she settles down and enjoys the ride.  I know that she is snug and warm,and we don’t have to worry about a blanket falling on the ground.

7) JJ Cole carseat strap covers -I noticed that her cheeks were getting red from the carseat straps, so I ordered her a pair of these covers.  You can throw them in the wash and your carseat straps stay free from drool!

8) Soothies - All our baby wanted to do was suck, suck, suck. But due to the things we read about nipple confusion, we decided to wait 2 weeks before introducing the pacifier. I wish we hadn’t. These little pacis are shaped like a nipple, so no nipple confusion!  I don’t know what we would do without it.  I keep 3 in my diaper bag at all times. 

9) Playtex Ventaire bottle- These are wide neck with slow flow nipples. The air is released from the top, so gas is kept to a minimum. Due to the wide shape of the nipple, our little girl had no trouble going from pumped milk to breast. 

10) Swing and infant seat - Mommy’s best friends. 

11) Target nursing tanks- I live in these.

12)Moby Wrap- We are outgrowing the infant hold and need to learn a new wrapping method, but this wrap has been invaluable. She loves it! It keeps her nice and cozy…and safe from the nosy old ladies at the grocery store.

13) Diapers.com -for everything.  Free next day delivery on orders over $50.  When we notice that there are only 20 diapers left, I place an order and email is sent within an hour that order has shipped and the box is on the front porch the next day. BAM!

14) Google- From “Why does my baby hiccough so much?” to “Breastfed baby poop pictures”

15) Coffee - Hot or luke warm, I’ll take it. The beauty of having a baby before the holidays? Holiday coffee drinks.

What items could you not live without? Any suggestions for the next 3 months?

The Mother Crow

Walking down the streets of Wilmington after a relaxing May trip to Bald Head Island, I had a moment of clarity that is now subconsciously embedded in my mind. With a large plastic cup of Italian ice in my right hand as my left hand rubbed my expanding 5 month belly after a satiating pasta lunch, my flip-flops nearly tripped on the cracked pavement beneath me.  

As I glanced down to catch my step, I noticed a small bird resting on the sidewalk next to a brick wall. Seeming unusual to me, the little bird didn’t flutter a wing as we walked by. It was sickly looking…emaciated with thinned feathers displaying a pale pink flesh underneath.  But in a matter of seconds as we approached the small bird, a large black crow fluttered at our heads screaming crow-like profanities in our ears. We jumped back realizing that this wasn’t a sickly bird at all, but a baby bird who fell out of the large shade tree lining the brick wall.

We spent the rest of that hour painfully watching the bird’s heart-wrenching attempts to jump from the pavement to the safety of the brick wall.  At one point, we tried to use an umbrella from our trunk to elevate the bird from the ground, but again, the mother crow swooped down and brushed our heads with the flutter of her wings. We jumped into the safety of our car at that moment, but the minute we turned the wheels of our car to leave the parking spot, we witnessed a moment so beautiful and fleeting. The mother crow hovered inches above the baby, it’s black wings spread wide, and held a worm from her mouth as the baby bird reached up with an opened mouth. There was a moment of serenity where the hustle of the street stilled. My hands rested on my belly as my shoulders relaxed and my heart beat in tune with the mother crow’s.

We traveled by air down to Mississippi for Thanksgiving this year.  My baby was tucked safely away in a Moby wrap, and the breast milk was packed on ice.  I was told that I could either take her out of the wrap, or I would need to do an extra safety screening behind the glass wall. She was soundly sleeping, so I opted not to disturb her. And while my legs were spread and the lady explained the security screening procedure to me, I watched as a gloved-hand unzipped the cooler and removed the bottle of milk. My face turned a deep shade of red while my arms started flailing about. My voice, stern and deep, escaped my mouth while I yelled, “DO NOT TOUCH THE MILK. DO NOT TOUCH IT! STOP! DO NOT TOUCH THE MILK!” 

The woman rubbing her hands up my leg paused and turned her head to witness the scene. I felt helpless. The sweat from my feet permeated through my socks leaving an outline on the mat underneath. My pupils dilated as my hands clenched into fists while my baby awoke and whimpered for a second before drifting back to sleep. I imagined the man twisting open the cap and dipping his latex-gloved finger into the milk and taking a lick. My mind overtook my body and my heart stopped. In that instant, my husband turned around and looked at me with concern in his eyes as the man continued to unscrew the lid.  They exchanged a few words, and he was told that the milk would not be touched, but that it was necessary to open it for screening purposes. I never fed her that bottle of milk.  

The memories of that mother crow flooded my mind. My behavior had been out of my usual friendly character and had mirrored the mother crow’s determination and deeply rooted instinct to insure that her baby is safe. As the screening process came to an end, I quickly grabbed my bags,and while bending the heel down on my shoes. I then scurried away shielding my baby from the bright lights beaming down from above.  And while I would usually apologize for the sharpness of my tongue, I didn’t this time…because the man winked at us as I grabbed my bag away from the table.

He understood the laws of nature. 

You laughed the other day.  Pure uncontrollable giggles that made your Daddy and me break into our own laughter that startled you into tears. Your arms curled up to your chest while your legs kicked and kicked.  As the mobile spun around and the lambs danced above your head, you opened your mouth to breathe it all in…and then you erupted. You couldn’t hold your happiness in anymore. Your mouth widened exposing your pink gummy smile. Your nose crinkled up, and your eyes squinted closed just like Mommy’s do right before she breaks into her embarrassing cackle of a laugh that from time to time ends with a snort. And then you let out the most magnificent giggle we had every heard…which made your Daddy and Mommy surround you on the changing table with tears from laughter. Your giggles laughed us to sleep that night and are keeping us on the edge of our seat until you bless us with that glorious sound again.

I love you,

Mommy

True Life: Breastfeeding is hard.

8 weeks

How can this be? I watched a video of her last night that we shot when Littlebit was about 3 weeks old, and she doesn’t even look like the same baby. She is holding her head up when I carry her and rarely takes her eyes off of me. She is also awake for longer periods during the day and sleeps for5-6 hour stretches at night. Last night, she was sleeping so soundly at 4:45am (when she usually wants to eat), that blood rushed to my head fearing that something was wrong. 

And can I just say that we are starting to have fun now? She wakes up with a smile on her face, and no matter how exhausted we are, her smile brightens our day long before the sun does. Do you want to know the best part? She talks and is starting to giggle too!  She says, “Gagoo…Hi!!!….Guchoo…” Brilliant!

Today we ventured out to the pediatrician’s office for her 2 month checkup, which meant she had to get more shots.  And while her lower lip flipped over more than it ever has before, and her cheeks turned a nice shade of mauve from holding her breath between screams…she was a real trooper.  I felt so terrible for her that I drove straight to Walgreens to get my flu shot. Shots for everrryyyyyyone!!!! (Oprah voice)

These past 8 weeks have gone by faster than I could have ever imagined. I’m so grateful for every moment…shots and all.

I’ve had all intentions to write to you regularly, but to be honest, the days are blurring together. You make every single day so fulfilling, and even during the days when the sky is gray and the rain makes it too dreary to get out of our PJs, we make our days together count.  On Friday, after you stretched and yawned, you looked up at me and smiled. A real smile with purpose…a real gummy “Hey Mommy!!” smile. You recognize me, and it makes my heart burst every time I look at you now. And when I reach to pick you up, you stretch your little arms up and grab hold of me. You seem to notice when I leave the room, and your eyes beam up at me when all signs lead to milk-time.

We seem to be making a little routine for our days together. We still can’t keep you from having your 6pm witching hour, but I learned last week that if I just hold you close to my heart and tap your bottom just so…your big blue eyes close as you cross your legs, and then you sigh as your pink heart-shaped lips slowly lose hold on your beloved paci. 

At bedtime, we make sure that we have a bottle of breast milk for Daddy to give to you. It’s a special time for the two of you, and I usually take a shower and give you time together. You fall asleep fairly quickly, and then you wake up every morning at 4:45am…exactly. I feed you and give you a million kisses and sing “You Are My Sunshine,” and then we both drift back to sleep.  But at 6am, you begin grunting and kicking your legs furiously. When I lift you out of your bassinet and place you on my chest, you sigh and immediately fall into a deep sleep. This is my favorite time with you, and I dread the day when this falls out of our routine. It’s a feeling I’ve never felt before…a comfort that has been missing from my life. 

Perhaps you comfort me, because I know that I can comfort you. Sometimes it takes me a few minutes to try different things, but that moment…that moment when you look at me like, “Thank you, Mommy! I feel better”…that moment is what gets me to the next moment. And each moment that you get comforted, I feel comforted. Does that make sense to you? 

Today when we were having our playtime on the quilt that Grandmommy made for you, I showed you your tootsies. Your eyes widened as you stared at them while your mouth made the shape of an “O.” What an amazing thing our feet are! It was in this moment that I wanted to show you everything….your fingers…Mommy’s ears…the leaves outside. I realized in that moment, that when you experience everything for the first time, I want to be there….the first time the rain touches your skin, the first time your tootsies touch the ocean, the first time your fingers make a snowball, and the first time you taste ice-cream. So many firsts! I don’t want to miss a single moment of your life. 

You are the most magnificent person I have ever met. You amaze me, and I hope that you will always know how much you are loved.

I Love You.

Mommy